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Leadership & Parenting
Leadership, the word in itself has great power. Leadership can be compared to the owner of a new gun. Some owners of a gun are just dying to go out and shoot it, they will shoot at anything that moves, they are irresponsible and very, very, dangerous.
They get a gun in their hands and they go on a Power Trip,"so to speak", they don't care who or what they hurt as long as they are in control.
Then again, some gun owners know that guns are dangerous and that they can literally ruin a persons life, so they treat it with great care and respect.
Just as an irresponsible gun owner can ruin a persons life, so also, can an irresponsible leader.
This is one thing that I feel a great need to discuss in this book. This chapter covers the many aspects of leadership, from an employer, to a parent, even our leaders in government should read this chapter.
I have managed several different kinds of businesses, from restaurants, to retail stores, and this is one subject that I have a lot of experience in and feel confident in.
In this chapter we will discuss what makes a good leader, or parent, and what the bible says about leadership.
I have seen leadership and its effects from many aspects of life. I remember one of my first jobs as a leader at a local fast food establishment. One of the many things that I learned from observation is that when I tried to give orders, I ran into walls, "so to speak", however, when I asked a person to do something for me, they were usually more than happy to do it.
The bible says "Ask and ye shall receive", and that can be applied to life as well as prayer, in many different ways. If you ask a person to do something for you in a kind and considerate manner, (politely), they are usually more than happy to do it for you, but, if you bark orders at them you run up against resentment, anger, envy, and many other brick walls that can fall on you in the slightest tremor.
If you ask them to do it and they refuse, then perhaps you should take a step back and ask yourself, "Am I asking this person to do something that I myself would not do?"
This is perhaps one of the biggest reasons for retaliation that I have ever seen.
When I became an assistant manager at a local fried chicken outlet I would help my employee's get the job done, I would jump in right beside them and help them get the job done rather than tell them top do a job that I did not want to do myself.
Lets face it, all jobs have that one particular thing that we just hate to do, but lets face it, somebody has to do it, why should it be someone else? Why not you?
In fact, if I caught myself taking the easy jobs, and giving someone else the jobs that I knew in my heart that I really did not want to do, that I was just "pawning off on someone else", I would quickly put myself in check and go help that person do the job and then the next time it needed to be done I would make myself do it as a form of self-discipline.
I had one of the best crews ever, they were fast, efficient, and dedicated wholeheartedly.
Why? Because I did not expect them to do anything that I would not do myself, I treated them with respect, therefore they respected me.
I remember a customer coming to me once and telling me that a toilet in the mens room was plugged up and overrunning. I was busy cleaning the kitchen, which was not a part of my job description, but if I had spare time I enjoyed helping my employees get caught up,
anyway, I asked an employee to get a plunger and go outside and plunge the toilet.
The employee came back a few minutes later and said that a chunk of paper was in the neck of the toilet and it would not plunge down, he said the water looked clean but he was not about to stick his hands in the toilet and we did not have any gloves.
I went outside with the employee and reached my hand down in the toilet, pulling the paper out, thus unclogging the toilet. I could have told the employee to do this himself as I stood back and watched him, but I did not want to pass the buck "so to speak" and tell him to do something that I would not want to do myself, and I never had a better employee after that.
Why? Because by doing something that he did not want to do himself, and by not complaining or giving him a write up for refusing to do it himself. I humbled myself and did the dirty task myself, and he respected me from that point on and became a problem solver himself.
You would be surprised at how many bosses would have just sent him back out there again the second time by himself and said "Handle it!", or wrote him up for refusing to do the task himself.
By the way, I did wash my hands in sanitizer three or four times afterwards.
Now, if I had forced him to do this, he would have resented me and there would have been a wall between us from that point on which would have interfered with production on the job.
What would you have done? Honestly? Would you have sent that employee back out there telling him to figure it out and then went on about your business? Many would have to answer "yes" to that, and no telling how many precious minutes would have been wasted as he procrastinated doing the job, and possibly became upset at your lack of responsibility.
Or perhaps you would have sent another employee to do the job, knowing that you yourself hated to do plumbing. Many would have to answer "yes" to this as well, they would have sent another employee out there to take care of it.
Sure, I could have rounded up another employee to do that job in which I knew deep down inside that I really did not want to do, but I knew that by working side by side with this new employee I was bringing myself down to his level, an employee, just like him, no better, no worse, I showed him that even I, the boss, was not too good to do the job myself.
Sometimes I had to be wise and use a little psychology on them, like late at nights I wanted to clean the restaurant and go home and relax, but I over heard them talking about going out to a bar together and having a few drinks. Yet they were working slow, taking their time, putting off the chores they hated, telling others to do them, like sweep the floors, clean the restrooms.
I, being wise, knew that they were young and wanted to go out that night, yet it was almost 10:30 p.m and they were only half way done with their chores. So after I counted the registers, put the money in the safe, and did my chores, I told them all "Listen up people, I know that you all want to get out of here as soon as possible tonight, after all, its Friday night, so I am going to pitch in and help you, lets see if we could get out of here by 11:00 p.m"
I pitched in and worked side by side with them, and we were out of there at 11:10. The next morning the Manager told me that they were amazed at how spotless the place was and asked how my crew got out of there so early. She was totally amazed and said on all previous Friday nights, before I got there, the earliest they got out of the building was at 1:30 - 2:00 a.m.
A true leader continually puts themselves in check and works with his or her employees, thus bringing respect, unity, and a sense of loyalty to the work place. It is true! A happy employee is a good, and productive employee.
Have you ever had an employee or perhaps even a friend ask you to let them do a certain job that nobody else wanted to do, and ask with an overabundance of enthusiasm?
If so, then I think that you will agree that, that person did a better job than anyone else could have. Why? Because he wanted to do it, he wanted to impress you, he wanted you to see his enthusiasm, and recognize his commitment.
All of your employees can be just as enthusiastic if you treat them with the respect and dignity that they deserve. Not just as an employee, but as a human being. A person trying that hard to be recognized is worth his weight in gold, because he will give it his all.
I also made it a point to continually thank and praise my workers, so that they knew that they were important as a team member. I once told someone that often prayed to God for help, but never prayed to thank him for the great miracles he had worked in their life that you should thank anyone who helps you, especially God.
Have you ever had a friend ask you for your help, only to begin helping them and then they walk off leaving the entire task to you? And then to make matters worse they never even said a simple thankyou? What about those friends or family members that only seem to come around when they want something from you? How does this make you feel?
Then this my friend is exactly how Jesus must have felt when he healed ten lepers only to have one come back and thank him. So when an employee does a good job, let them know that you appreciate their hard work and effort.
Suppose that an employee or a friend asks you to let them do a task for them, or asks to help you with a particular task such as painting a house, or fixing their car or plumbing, and their whole heart is in it, but they make some kind of a mistake or break something on accident. What would you say to them? What would you do? Think of a similar incident in the past, what did you do? How did you react?
Some people become enraged and downright mean when you accidentally break something of theirs or make a mistake, this can be devastating to a person, because the person that they so wholeheartedly tried to help cursed at them or yelled at them so simply trying to help.
Ellen
How discouraging it can be to put your whole heart into something as an act of kindness only to have it backfire on you. This can literally eat a person up, rip them inside out, and that is why when something like that happens I simply say "That's o.k, you were only trying to help!"
Be glad for a friend that is continually trying to help you from the bottom of their heart, for there is nothing better than a friend like that. Do not be a fool and let Satan turn such a good deed into a disaster and ruin a good friendship.
I have been in that exact situation many times. I would offer to help a friend work on his car, do some yardwork, or paint their house, things like that, and not only did they not act like they even appreciated it, but when I accidentally dropped a spot of paint somewhere they would blow up and curse me.
There is nothing like feeling unappreciated or abused. I remember one day I was at my sister's house, drinking with my brother-in-law (this was in the days long ago when I was an alcoholic) my brother-in-law was showing me all of his rifles in the gun case. He picked one up and showed me how to do that ol' rifleman move, and I asked if I could try it.
My brother-in-law said "Sure, go ahead!", so I reached in and grabbed a rifle and when I flipped it down and back up I was surprised by a loud "BOOM!". The shotgun I was holding had went off and shot his one thousand dollar television.
My brother-in-law did not even get mad. I was shocked! Even I would have been upset a little bit, as nice as I am, but not him, he just said "Don't worry about it! It's only money...at least nobody got hurt!" and to this day I still respect guns, but I respect him even more.
Would I respect guns any more than I do now if he would have blown up at me and cursed at me and called me stupid? Of course not! I pray to be as wise and calm as he was that day every time such a situation arises.
If that would have been my oldest brother he would have hit me, yelled and cursed at me and probably never trusted me around his guns again. Not my brother-in-law, we still go out and shoot guns together.
I offered to buy him and my sister a new television of the same value, but he flat refused to let me. He knew that I did not make much money back then, so he bought the parts and fixed the television.
That my friend is a great leadership quality. Not only did he show kindness, mercy and compassion, but he put himself in my shoe's and knew how bad I felt, and most important of all, he knew that as scared as I was, I had learned my lesson, to be careful with guns.
When an employee or even a friend makes an honest mistake, do not torture them over it, do not curse at them, or call them stupid and other kinds of belittling names, because other employee's or friends will follow your lead and begin treating them bad as well.
A lot of people would have gone ballistic and said "You owe me a new television, I want the money right now!" But he was kind, and wise, very, very wise. How would you have reacted? Would your reaction have made matters worse?
In Matthew 5:22 Jesus said "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Anyone who says 'you fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell"
Do you call anyone stupid or a fool? If so then beware! Because you are in danger of spending an eternity in hell. Have you ever been burned real bad? Imagine that pain, how much it hurt, now imagine it 10,000 times worse and never going away! No pain pills in hell my friends. Scary isn't it?
So, think twice before cursing an employee or a friend, especially over a silly, unintentional sin. In Numbers 15:22-29 the lord God Almighty said that anyone who commits an unintentional sin shall be forgiven, It says "It shall be forgiven them, for it is ignorance!".
Now, if the lord God Almighty can forgive someone for making a mistake, or committing an unintentional sin, then so can we. It takes a bigger man to hold back his anger, and respond in kindness and wisdom as my brother-in-law did.
The rest of this chapter is being typed out. If you wish to recieve it when it is finished
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